Kids, it has been brought to my attention that Phillipe is possessed.
Nothing possesses me. I am my own man.
HE'S A DEMON
Today, I am going to bring in an exorcist to exorcise the demons.
Why do demons need exercise?
Not that sort of exercise.
Why are we doing this?
YOU'RE A DEMON
An exorcism is when you remove evil spirits.
[A man enters]
Who is that?
I am the exorcist of starting pitching prospect demons.
Aumont has evil starting pitching demons unique to prospects, and the only way to exorcise those demons is to provide him with bullpen salvation.
Why must we do this?
Because it'll get you a full-time job faster.
Great! Let's do it!
What's going on? I'm so confused!
Mr. Zduriencik is going to remove the demons from Phillipe.
Wait, it's not time for recess.
Phillipe, I want you to sit down while I conduct this seance.
YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU CAN NEVERRRRRRRRRRR
HAVE TOOOOOOOO MUCH DEPTHHHHHHHHHHHH
IN THE BULLLLLLLLLPENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
I have suddenly lost the urge to pace myself.
THISSSSSSSSSS IS THE
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJORSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have completely forgotten how to throw everything but my fastball.
IS THE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPEST BULLPENNNNNNNNNNNNNN
INNNNNNNNNNNNNN THE MAAAAAAAAAAAAJORSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm available whenever you need me.
I think it worked!
You're welcome [leaves]
Man, those SPatan worshippers are going to be real mad.
Time for recess.