We interrupt this Storytime With Erik Bedard to exorcise some demons

Kids, it has been brought to my attention that Phillipe is possessed.
Nothing possesses me. I am my own man.
HE'S A DEMON
Today, I am going to bring in an exorcist to exorcise the demons.
Why do demons need exercise?

Not that sort of exercise.
Why are we doing this?
YOU'RE A DEMON
An exorcism is when you remove evil spirits.
[A man enters]
Who is that?
I am the exorcist of starting pitching prospect demons.

What
Aumont has evil starting pitching demons unique to prospects, and the only way to exorcise those demons is to provide him with bullpen salvation.
Why must we do this?
Because it'll get you a full-time job faster.
Great! Let's do it!
What's going on? I'm so confused!
Mr. Zduriencik is going to remove the demons from Phillipe.
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Wait, it's not time for recess.
Phillipe, I want you to sit down while I conduct this seance.
[Lights dim]
[Watching anxiously]
[Nonplussed]
YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU CAN NEVERRRRRRRRRRR
HAVE TOOOOOOOO MUCH DEPTHHHHHHHHHHHH
IN THE BULLLLLLLLLPENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
[twitches]
I have suddenly lost the urge to pace myself.
THISSSSSSSSSS IS THE
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJORSSSSSSSSSSSS
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
[twitches]
I have completely forgotten how to throw everything but my fastball.
OURRRRRRRRRRRR BULLLLLLLLLPENNNNNNNNNNNNN
IS THE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPEST BULLPENNNNNNNNNNNNNN
INNNNNNNNNNNNNN THE MAAAAAAAAAAAAJORSSSSSSSSSSSSS
GRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
[POPS]

[blinks]
I'm available whenever you need me.
I think it worked!
Thank you.
You're welcome [leaves]
Man, those SPatan worshippers are going to be real mad.
What's a
QUIET




[opens door]
Time for recess.
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY