Storytime With Erik Bedard and the Assistant Dean

Kids, lately your behavior has gotten out of control.
HE STARTED IT
NO YOU
He was talking about me, young socialist.
YEAH YOU STARTED IT
NO YOU
My point exactly.
HAHA OWNED

NUH UH
Unfortunately, the dean is still on the disabled list.
Wait I thought he was okay last week.
Well, he was.
And then he suffered a bad relapse after eating some chili dogs.
Which reminds me... don't go in the restroom.

Anyway, we need some discipline and he has a replacement.
We have had a lot of replacements lately.
Yes.
Makes me wonder why I haven't been hired yet.

Remind me, how did you do in the Cal League last week?
Okay, point.
So we have a replacement dean?
Indeed, and he shall be here shortly.
[Door flies open]
MO MONEY MO MONEY MO MONEY MO MONEY
I heard we had some bad behavior in the classroom!
HE STARTED IT
Tattling and pointing fingers will get you nowhere.
This is kangaroo court and I am Judge MO MONEY
What is kangaroo court?
I don't see any kangaroos.
Sarcasm gets you nowhere, young lady. Watch it or I fine you first.
So listen boy, for pointing fingers and not accepting responsibility for your actions
Judge MO MONEY has fined you five hundred dollars.
WHAT
[Produces jar]
So pay up or you get to carry my bags to the airport until the All Star Break
Um
I don't have five hundred dollars! My allowance is only a dollar a week.
No excuses or that's another Benji, ya heard.
Uh Ken
That's JUDGE MO MONEY, and that's five hundred more for you, Bedard.
Sigh [extracts wallet]
No really, I don't!
I hope you get your sherpa on then, because you look shorter than my suitcases
Don't sweat it, I'll pay for him too
Oh no you don't, or you'll be the one carrying my-
Fine.


A-ight.
You just say that because I'll be the one carrying his bags.

Ye- no actually, that'll be Rob Johnson.
Here [hands over currency]

What the hell is this, Monopoly money?
Do I need to fine you again?
It's Canadian dollars.
If you time the exchange right, it might actually be worth more than US dollars.

Really?
Yep. Keep the change.
You're all right, Bedard. I think we'll keep you around.
YAYYYYYYYYYY
Wait, it's not time for re-
Yes it is. Judge MO MONEY says STORYTIME IS ADJOURNED!
YAYYYYYYYYY
YAYYYYYYYYYY
MO MONEY MO MONEY MO MONEY MO MONEY [leaves room]




Why did you let him extort you like that?
Because the money I gave him actually was Monopoly money.

I couldn't tell.
One of many reasons Canada is awesome.