Storytime With Erik Bedard and a story that never quite gets told

There was once a talented baseball player.
Let's call him Stanley.
Why are we calling him Stanley?
Because I don't want to waste my time finding a name for a fictional character.
Why not just call him Chuck?
Why not just let him tell the story?
That is a very smart suggestion.
Stanley came from another country, a very poor country.
Like your country, Phillippe?
Checked the value of the dollar lately, child?

Your country uses Monopoly money.
Your country is run by capitalists.

Touché.
He was a talented player, good enough to be a star.
He played great defense and swung at everything, but hit those balls well.
A wealthy baseball team brought this talented player to America.
Which one?
Don't make me answer that.
He said wealthy, so obviously not the Royals.


That was really funny.
David DeJesus disagrees.
WHAT ABOUT THE STORY?
WHAT ABOUT IT
Stanley joined the team and quickly made the major league roster.
He needed work on his hitting, but he was a great fielder.
One day, the team chef made him a beef and cheddar sandwich.
Where he came from, they didn't have sandwiches.
Really?
Yes. It was a poor country.
They must have been run by communists.
OH NO YOU DIDN'T
OH YES I DID
OH YOU BOTH NEED TO SHUT UP
It was the best food he ever had.
Stanley became addicted to sandwiches and gained weight.
How do you become addicted to sandwiches?
Maybe we should ask your mom.
HEY
OH SNAP
I think it's time for detention.
[Door flies open]
DID SOMEBODY SAY SANDWICHES
You're just in ti- wait
I thought you were injured.