: Three bears lived in a cottage.
: Don't bears live in caves?: Yes, but they secured financing for 5.05% on a fine cottage in the woods.
: Bears can't get loans.: There are some men of alternate lifestyles in San Francisco who disagree.: : Al...: Alternate?: Anyway, the three bears made porridge.: Then they went out in the woods.: I have no idea why they didn't eat first.: Maybe they weren't hungry.: But then they cooked porridge.: Who cooks Scottish oatmeal and leaves before eating it?: Whole Foods?: Some little tramp named Goldilocks broke and entered.: No one called the cops because it's the middle of the woods.: She tasted the three bowls, and ate one.: You missed the best part!:: What: The baby bear's was too cold. The mama bear's was too hot. And the papa bear's was JUUUUUST right.:: So you were there?: No!: How do you know this?: I think you're the Goldilocks in this story.: Haha no I'm not.: No I think you are.: You're silly!: I'm calling the dean.:: What: Breaking and entering is a crime, young lady.: Come on!: So is tampering with personal property.: I didn't do anything!: [picks up phone]: Stop it! I didn't do nothing!: Can I have the dean come down here, please? I have a confession to the porridge theft.: [hangs up]: The dean is on his way.: You can't do this!: I just did.[Hallway door opens]
: WHERE IS SHE: EEEEEEEEEEEE: Here she is.: YOU ATE MY COUNTRY GRAVY OATMEAL I MEAN PORRIDGE.: NOOOOOOOOOO: TIME FOR DETENTION: [grabs girl by neck, leaves, slams hallway door]:: The end.:: [opens door]: Time for recess.: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY:[Hallway door opens]
: ¡Esa era deliciosa!:::: Lo siento, no es el lavabo.: [Shuts door]::: Wait... country gravy oatmeal?
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