Thursday, January 21, 2010

Whose Mascot Would Win In A Fight? Day 3 of a 7 day predictive experiment

Mascot fight results for Wednesday, January 20, 2010:


Oklahoma City - WIN
Sacramento - LOSS
Washington - LOSS
Portland - WIN
Orlando - WIN
Charlotte - WIN
Detroit - WIN
Toronto - LOSS
New Orleans - WIN
Phoenix - WIN
Utah - WIN
Golden State - LOSS

Record: 8-4
Overall NBA: 9-5


Michigan State - WIN
Georgia State - WIN
Towson - LOSS
La Salle - WIN
Old Dominion - WIN
Duquesne - LOSS
Drexel - WIN
Lafayette - WIN
North Carolina - LOSS
Holy Cross - WIN

Record: 8-3
Overall NCAA: 14-11

Overall: 24-23


Now, WHOSE MASCOT WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT for Thursday, January 21, 2010. We're scaling back the NCAA picks again. Life is short. I'm sticking to interesting battles from the first few NCAA games I notice.

NBA Picks:

Los Angeles Clippers at Denver Nuggets. You know why the Clippers lose so many games? No mascot. No contest. The yellow rock wins. Pick: Denver

Los Angeles Lakers at Cleveland Cavaliers. Cavaliers have weapons. Dudes transplanted from a state with a bunch of lakes probably do not. Pick: Cleveland

NCAA Picks:

VMI Keydets vs Radford Highlanders: They're cadets... except with KEYS, with makes they KEYdets. Meanwhile, Highlanders are immortal warriors with swords. Um... how has Radford not won 12 national titles yet? They must think they have forever, since they're immortal and all, so why rush? Pick: Radford

Chattanooga Mocs vs UNC Greensboro Spartans. 'Mocs' is shorthand for the team's original nick, the Moccasins. That's right, shoes. Comfort shoes vs ancient warriors that spear people to death for fun and profit. Pick: UNC Greensboro

Loyola Greyhounds vs Siena Saints. A saint would never hurt anyone, and to be honest, neither would most greyhounds. The greyhounds, probably hungry from a life of racing after a fake rabbit around a track so degenerates can place bets on which dog will run after the fake rabbit faster, think that since the saints are not bullying them into running after a fake rabbit around a track, must be much nicer and probably has food. So they'll politely whine to the Saints for food, and while the Saints certainly would never hurt these dogs, they do indenture them to a life of holy servitude in which the dogs spend the rest of their lives reasonably fed but enslaved in the name of the lord. Who do you think wins here? Pick: Siena

Samford Bulldogs vs Elon Phoenix. The bulldogs happen upon some ashes, which turn into a fiery bird that rises from the ashes and burns those dogs to a crisp. Ashes to ashes, life to life, and one rebirth is a dozen doggie deaths. Somebody call PETA. Pick: Elon

Arkansas Little Rock Trojans vs Florida Atlantic Owls. If we're talking about the ancient Trojans, those owls are dead meat because they're getting speared. If we're talking about Trojan Latex Condoms, those owls will simply use the lot of them as nesting material, ironically enough, and procreate into infinity. Since it's not 1200 BC, I can only conclude we are talking about the present. Pick: Florida Atlantic.

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