"YOU KEEP COMING OVER HERE FOR NO REASON AND FLIPPING ME CRAP WHEN HIS TEAM HAS BEEN CHOP BLOCKING AND HOLDING US ALL DAY AND YOU HAVEN'T THROWN A SINGLE FLAG FOR IT"
"No really your fly's open"
It's SUPER OCHOCINCO
Tony Scheffler's kinetic touchdown catching skills proved vital against the Chargers
This week in NFL Interpretative Dance: The vintage 1960 Denver Broncos Tribal Pwnage Dance
Malcolm Floyd does the Space Crabwalk breakdance into the end zone
Tony Gonzalez loses his mind and tries to javelin a goalpost through his opponent
Danieal Manning is about to execute a sweet header towards the Falcons' goal, and receive a stern reminder that no, Danieal, we aren't playing soccer, soccer players don't wear these uniforms
"Hold on a sec, throw it WHERE?"
As Dawan Landry is about to find out in nauseating fashion, whatever Adrian Peterson had for breakfast causes horrible gas
Matt Cassel makes an ill advised decision to participate in the Running of the Bullcrappers, and gets gored
"Wait, is this the right guy? Think, Brodney, think!"
"GIVE ME BACK MY UGLY ORANGE JERSEY"
"NO DUDE THIS IS *MY* UGLY ORANG- HEY!"
The NFL's experimental floating bumbleball produced entertaining but unwelcome results
"Free halftime pizza and beer goes to... THE JAGUARS COACHING STAFF"
"THAT'S THE THIRD STRAIGHT WEEK THE JAGS COACHES HAVE WON. I CALL SHENANIGANS."
"Don't we need a table to arm wrestle?"
"Naw, we're cool. On three. One. Two...."
"GET... YOUR HEAD... OFF... OF MY ARM"
Donald Driver realizes in sudden horror that Demarcus Figgins is about to volleyball spike that football off his face
"Hold on a sec, I'll be right back"
"Okay... HEY WAIT A MINUTE"
"YES MY PRECIOUS YESSSSSSSSSSSS"
"uhhhhhhhhh somebody please help meeeee"
"GUESS WHO GETS A STARFISH BUMP?"
"Guys, are we forgetting something?"
"THASS RIGHT WHITE BOY, SPIN KICK POWER"
"No really, Mr Jackson, we need that football for... uh... research purposes"
"NO IT'S MINE"
The Eagles new defense-puppets paid off against the Raiders
"Excuse me that's mine thanks"
The Steelers' new strategy of catapulting their ballcarriers onto the defense had mixed results
"Oh crap what am I supposed to do again?"
"Psst... supposed to drop it"
"Ah cool thanks"