"Um, sorry guys, football orgies aren't my thing. TAXI!"
In the middle of a big catch, Ochocinco comes to the horrifying realization that he has pink hands
"Guess who big boy?"
"Excuse me, don't touch my titti- oh shit"
This week in NFL Interpretative Dance: Falling Heisman
DO THE HONKY DANCE... DO THE HONKY DANCE... DO THE- WTF you're wearing pink gloves
Vincent Jackson drops a pass as he wonders in amazement when he grew a 3rd, pink striped hand.
Tyjuan Hagler goes ahead and takes the Seahawks' wallets during the Colts rout
The Chiefs have finally found an answer to scoring on offense: Conga lines!
Adewale Ogunleye heard what a Matthew Stafford jersey fetches on eBay and quickly got the wrong idea
Johnny Knox discovers the horror of Lions coaches' new "Hey defense, Johnny Knox slept with your woman" defensive scheme.
Jay Cutler takes an armpit ride to the endzone on a Lions DB
"Thass right, rookie, it's TOUCHDOWN SWIRLIE TIME"
"Hey defense! SURF'S UP, BITCHES"
Peyton Manning felt so bad about killing the Seahawks that he threw like a girl in the 2nd half. He still shredded their defense.
"Alright, refs, let's stop them... Ref Dog Blitz Right... and back judge, watch for the quick out to Bush in the flat... ready... BREAK"
And I close with a bonus Kyle Orton Victory GIF from Kissing Suzy Kolber: