The bonus double-score Jumbo Football was a flop in Week One
Young tailback Derrick Ward's Split-Leg Fart-Block proves successful against Cowboys defenders
In defensive strategies, the Eagles front seven's strategy of eating onion, vegemite and anchovy sauteed kava before the game and breathing on QB Jake Delhomme proved exceptionally successful:
A Detroit Lions offensive player reaches the end zone and immediately becomes very confused
Brian Dawkins' offseason weight loss plan backfires badly as Ochocinco carries his deflated ass for about 20 yards with minimal effort
Frank Gore applies his newly honed karate skills during a run against the Cardinals
Jay Cutler realizes midway through the 2nd half that coaching and skilled teammates actually matter to a QB's success
The cameraman who took this picture of Al Harris immediately turned to stone as he did so
This week's edition of NFL Interpretative Dance: Crouching Packer, Hidden Turnover
"Tell me who took your beer, mang. Imma mess that guy up."
Rams highlights from their game with the Seahawks:
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