Showing posts with label choking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choking. Show all posts

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Seattle Mariners Net Runs for 6-6-2010 (Anaheim 9, Seattle 4)

TeamPlayerNet RunsHitPitchDefBaseEXERAPitOuts
ANAJoel Pineiro -0.5940.000-0.343-0.2510.0004.6918
ANAMike Napoli 2.8882.8880.0000.0000.0000.000
ANARobb Quinlan 1.0480.7130.0000.3350.0000.000
ANAHowie Kendrick -0.404-0.7520.0000.3480.0000.000
ANAKevin Frandsen -0.875-0.8750.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAErick Aybar 0.6531.6550.000-1.1610.1590.000
ANAJuan Rivera 0.9030.1090.0000.7940.0000.000
ANATorii Hunter 0.192-0.0940.0000.2860.0000.000
ANABobby Abreu -1.382-1.8390.0000.4570.0000.000
ANAHideki Matsui 0.3890.3890.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAFernando Rodney -0.1870.000-0.1870.0000.0005.773
ANAFrancisco Rodriguez 0.7710.0000.4740.2970.0000.263
ANAKevin Jepsen 0.2830.0000.2830.0000.0001.853
ANAANA Luckbox2.1022.1020.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAMike Scoiscia-0.1940.000-0.1940.0000.0000.000


TeamPlayerNet RunsHitPitchDefBaseEXERAPitOuts
SEAJason Vargas -1.5560.000-1.399-0.1570.0006.1618
SEAEliezer Alfonzo -0.312-0.3120.0000.0000.0000.000
SEACasey Kotchman -0.576-0.7410.0000.1650.0000.000
SEAChone Figgins -0.3470.4080.0000.000-0.7550.000
SEAJose Lopez -0.6861.1550.000-1.8410.0000.000
SEAJosh Wilson 0.7960.5330.0000.2630.0000.000
SEAMichael Saunders 0.319-0.3040.0000.6230.0000.000
SEAFranklin Gutierrez 1.852-0.8650.0002.7170.0000.000
SEAIchiro Suzuki 3.4271.1890.0002.2380.0000.000
SEAMilton Bradley -0.358-0.3580.0000.0000.0000.000
SEABrandon League 0.5000.0000.5000.0000.0000.043
SEAMatt Tuiasosopo -1.660-0.6890.000-0.9710.0000.000
SEADavid Aardsma -1.3560.000-1.3560.0000.00021.182
SEALuke French -0.4210.000-0.4210.0000.00014.751
SEAShawn Kelley -1.9350.000-1.9350.0000.00028.432
SEAGarrett Olson -0.7080.000-0.7080.0000.00021.931
SEASEA Luckbox0.1940.1940.0000.0000.0000.000
SEADon Wakamatsu0.0000.0000.0000.0000.0000.000
 Safeco Field2.7660.0000.000-2.7660.0000.000.505


How Net Runs works

(Note the new number in the lower right corner of the home team table. This is the run expectancy for every half inning in the home park.)

Player of the Game: Ichiro (3.427 NRuns: 1.189 hitting, 2.238 fielding)
Mariners pitching: -5.319 NRuns
Mariners below -1.000 NRuns: 4 (Vargas, Tuiasosopo, Aardsma, Kelley)

Goat: Shawn Kelley (-1.935 pitching NRuns... 28.43 EXERA)

I will not dignify this effort with descriptive or analytical text.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Seattle Mariners Net Runs for 6-5-2010 (Anaheim 11, Seattle 2)

TeamPlayerNet RunsHitPitchDefBaseEXERAPitOuts
ANAErvin Santana1.0400.000-0.4981.5380.0004.9118
ANABobby Wilson-1.140-0.7380.000-0.4020.0000.000
ANAMike Napoli-0.091-0.3430.0000.2200.0320.000
ANAHowie Kendrick1.2231.4600.000-0.2370.0000.000
ANAMaicer Izturis1.4992.0580.000-0.5590.0000.000
ANAErick Aybar0.186-0.3410.0000.5270.0000.000
ANAJuan Rivera1.4420.7540.0000.905-0.2170.000
ANATorii Hunter3.4073.1580.0000.2490.0000.000
ANABobby Abreu1.5200.9400.0000.5800.0000.000
ANAHideki Matsui-0.870-0.8700.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAKevin Frandsen0.7500.3890.0000.3610.0000.000
ANARobb Quinlan-0.217-0.1690.000-0.0480.0000.000
ANAReggie Willits-0.098-0.0980.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAJason Bulger0.4970.0000.4970.0000.0002.146
ANAScot Shields-0.8080.000-0.8080.0000.00010.953
ANAANA Luckbox0.6600.4400.0000.2200.0000.000
ANAMike Scoiscia0.0000.0000.0000.0000.0000.000


TeamPlayerNet RunsHitPitchDefBaseEXERAPitOuts
SEARyan Rowland-Smith-1.4840.000-1.4840.0000.0006.6915
SEARob Johnson0.6420.5620.0000.0800.0000.000
SEACasey Kotchman0.260-0.6070.0000.8670.0000.000
SEAChone Figgins1.6621.3380.0000.924-0.6000.000
SEAJose Lopez-2.151-1.7940.000-0.3570.0000.000
SEAJosh Wilson-2.773-0.4630.000-2.3100.0000.000
SEAMichael Saunders0.796-0.9080.0002.059-0.3550.000
SEAFranklin Gutierrez-1.178-1.4850.0000.2000.1070.000
SEAIchiro Suzuki0.1411.3800.000-1.2390.0000.000
SEAMilton Bradley-0.160-0.2970.0000.0000.1370.000
SEARyan Langerhans0.4400.4400.0000.0000.0000.000
SEAGarrett Olson-0.1500.000-0.1500.0000.0007.971
SEAShawn Kelley-3.0920.000-3.0920.0000.00081.601
SEASean White-1.4160.000-1.4160.0000.00013.074
SEABrandon League-0.3760.000-0.3760.0000.0007.353
SEAChad Cordero0.1420.0000.1420.0000.0003.033
SEASEA Luckbox0.0000.0000.0000.0000.0000.000
SEADon Wakamatsu-0.3030.000-0.3030.0000.0000.000
 Safeco Field0.0000.0000.0000.0000.0000.000


Player of the Game: Torii Hunter (3.407 NRuns: 3.158 hitting, 0.249 fielding)

Angels with over 1.000 NRuns: 6 (Santana, Hunter, Kendrick, Izturis, Rivera, Abreu)
Angels hitting: 6.200 NRuns

Mariners worse than -1.000 NRuns: 6
Mariners pitching: -6.376 NRuns
Mariners hitting: -1.834 NRuns

Goat: Shawn Kelley (-3.092 pitching NRuns, 81.60 EXERA)

I'd credit Chone Figgins for Mariners player of the game honors, except go figure he did a lot of his damage in garbage time. Of course.

Ryan Rowland-Smith's first two innings were good. It was the other three that needed some polish. Of course, that's nothing compared to the middle relief, which needs to be amputated.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Seattle Mariners Net Runs for 5-30-2010 (Anaheim 9, Seattle 7)

TeamPlayerNet RunsHitPitchDefBaseEXERAPitOuts
SEAIan Snell-0.7380.000-0.7490.0110.0006.0512
SEAEliezer Alfonzo0.6372.3540.000-0.432-1.2850.000
SEACasey Kotchman0.8030.7220.0000.0810.0000.000
SEAChone Figgins-0.4260.1000.000-0.5260.0000.000
SEAJose Lopez0.9300.9300.0000.0000.0000.000
SEAJosh Wilson0.4200.8160.0000.000-0.3960.000
SEAMilton Bradley-0.027-1.0610.0000.8930.1410.000
SEAFranklin Gutierrez0.593-0.7780.0001.3710.0000.000
SEAIchiro Suzuki1.9421.3190.0000.6230.0000.000
SEAMike Sweeney-0.839-0.8390.0000.0000.0000.000
SEAJesus Colome0.1690.0000.1690.0000.0003.083
SEAKanekoa Texeira-1.6160.000-1.7680.1520.00026.612
SEAShawn Kelley1.5870.0001.4780.1090.000-0.807
SEADavid Aardsma-0.9950.000-1.1020.1070.00032.071
SEASEA Luckbox0.1350.1350.0000.0000.0000.000
SEADon Wakamatsu0.0000.0000.0000.0000.0000.000


TeamPlayerNet RunsHitPitchDefBaseEXERAPitOuts
ANAJoe Saunders-3.1800.000-3.1800.0000.00010.6113
ANABobby Wilson-0.646-0.6460.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAMike Napoli-0.903-1.0930.0000.1900.0000.000
ANAHowie Kendrick5.1132.5960.0002.5170.0000.000
ANAMaicer Izturis-1.372-1.4530.0000.0810.0000.000
ANAErick Aybar1.3471.4370.0000.478-0.5680.000
ANAHideki Matsui1.8931.0960.0000.7970.0000.000
ANAReggie Willits1.3220.5690.0000.5380.2150.000
ANAJuan Rivera-1.127-0.1940.000-0.9330.0000.000
ANABobby Abreu0.8091.4870.0000.000-0.6780.000
ANAKevin Frandsen0.0000.0000.0000.0000.0000.000
ANATrevor Bell-0.0710.000-0.0710.0000.0004.845
ANAJason Bulger-0.0770.000-0.0770.0000.0004.974
ANAKevin Jepsen0.3240.0000.3240.0000.0000.432
ANAFernando Rodney-0.6860.000-0.6860.0000.00010.213
ANAANA Luckbox1.6781.6780.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAMike Scoiscia-0.1350.000-0.1350.0000.0000.000
 Angels Stadium6.8640.0000.000-6.8640.0000.000


Player of the Game: Howie Kendrick (5.113 NRuns: 2.596 hitting, 2.517 fielding)

Angels with contributions above 1.000 NRuns: 4 (Kendrick, Aybar, Matsui and Willits)

Angels Luckbox: 1.678 NRuns

Great hitting and bad everything else: Eliezer Alfonzo (0.637 NRuns: 2.354 hitting, -0.432 fielding, -1.285 running)
Eliezer's catcher's interference: -1.000 NRuns

Mariners Player of the Game: Ichiro (1.942 NRuns: 1.319 hitting, 0.623 fielding)

Shawn Kelley: 1.478 pitching NRuns
Jesus Colome: 0.169 pitching NRuns
All other Mariners pitching: -3.619 NRuns

Mariners hitting: 3.563 NRuns
Mariners defense: 2.389 NRuns
Mariners baserunning: -1.540 NRuns

Goat: Joe Saunders (-3.180 pitching NRuns... 10.61 EXERA)

Mariners scapegoats: Kanekoa Texeira and David Aardsma (-2.611 NRuns: -2.870 pitching, 0.259 fielding)

******

Ian Snell managed to completely undo a decent 4 innings with two walks to start the 5th. Both walks were worth a total of -1.060 NRuns, and Snell came into the 5th with a total of 0.311 pitching NRuns, good for a 4.14 EXERA and an indicator that he was pitching just fine.

So here's why Jesus Colome wasn't credited with -2.000 NRuns worth of meltdown in that frame. When he entered the game with men on 1st and 2nd and nobody out, the Angels had a run expectancy of 1.598 NRuns. In other words, you expect the average team in that situation to score about 1.6 runs. If the offense comes away empty handed, the pitching/defense somehow saved 1.6 runs.

So here's Colome's line blow by blow. All run expectancy numbers are derived from a composite of 2005-2009 season data and park adjusted to Angels Stadium:

- Maicer Izturis flies out to center. Colome loses 0.059 NRuns for the flyball while Franklin Gutierrez saves 0.644 NRuns in catching it. However, Reggie Willits tags up at 2nd and takes 3rd, adding 0.215 runs to the Angels' expectancy and costing Franklin 0.215 NRuns since he controlled the ball when Willits took his base. With men on 1st and 3rd and one out the run expectancy is now 1.228 runs.

- Colome then walks Bobby Abreu to load the bases, losing 0.498 NRuns in doing so and raising the Angels run expectancy to 1.726 runs.

- Hideki Matsui pops out for the 2nd out. As pop ups are damn near an automatic out, Colome receives full credit for getting Matsui to swing underneath a pitch and produce an easy out, earning Colome 0.918 NRuns. With two outs and the bases loaded the Angels' run expectancy is now 0.808 runs.

- Colome walks Juan Rivera to force in a run. Since the run expectancy remains the same and the play scored a run, Colome gets docked 1.000 NRuns.

- Colome strikes out Mike Napoli to end the inning. Colome gets 0.808 NRuns as the Angels' run expectancy drops, of course, to 0.

Colome's final tally in that frame? 0.169 NRuns, good for a 3.03 EXERA. You saw him walk two guys, one walk forcing in a run, and already disliking him for his reputation as a fringe fireballer you likely gave him all the credit for the damage in that frame.

However, he came in with the run expectancy at nearly two runs thanks to the two Ian Snell walks that started the inning, and the Mariners came away only having allowed only one run. While the two walks did a lot of damage, the pop up and strikeout were just as huge, as the higher the run expectancy gets, the more critical every out becomes. This is the beauty of Net Runs: There's no need to calculate a leverage index, because run expectancy already has it built in. Riskier base/out situations make outs and bases more valuable. Colome's walks were huge. And so were his outs, because they severely limited the Angels' potential damage and did not allow them to advance baserunners.

I'm not writing this as a treatise to defend the guy. I'm in agreement with the saber status quo that Colome should not have been called up back in April and should have had to show in Tacoma that he had the control and secondary stuff to get MLB hitters out. I agree that, of the 11 current Mariner pitchers, he probably helps the team least right now.

But today is not necessarily an example of Jesus Colome's liabilities. He walked into a bad situation in the 5th, and any pitcher giving an average effort in this situation still would have allowed 1-2 runs. Shawn Kelley or Kanekoa Texeira probably don't do much better with two on and nobody out. That Colome allowed only one run was an accomplishment... a minor accomplishment, but one nonetheless.

Now... speaking of Kanekoa, he was awful today. And David Aardsma was awful today as well. Defensive miscues were not the key to their disaster innings... save for Eliezer Alfonzo getting called for catcher's interference in the 6th to produce one of the M's two runs. But Texeira prior to that call walked in a run and helped load the bags to begin with with a line drive, two flyballs and a walk.

David Aardsma led off the 9th with a walk, got a flyout, allowed a liner and then gave up the fatal flyball that carried over the fence for Howie Kendrick. Of the four batters he faced, two of the outcomes were okay (if you consider the flyball that happened to carry over the fence "okay" and/or unlucky) and two were awful.

Going back to Alfonzo, he quickly wiped out the goodwill around his three run bomb (2.060 NRuns... remember the M's run expectancy indicates the M's expect to score some runs with men on there), and to a lesser extent the runner he caught stealing in the 3rd (0.678 NRuns), with some examples of why he wasn't on a big league roster in the first place, running into an out at 3B in the 4th (-0.779 NRuns), hitting into a double play in the 9th (-1.013 NRuns) and the aforementioned catcher's interference in the 6th (-1.000 NRuns) that forced in a run. Rarely will you see a guy pile up such a grab bag of big plays both for and against his team in a single game, let alone his on-field debut with said team.

Howie Kendrick's walkoff bomb capped off what has to be one of the best single game Net Runs performances I've seen from a position player this season. He not only produced over 2 runs at the plate but prevented over 2 runs in the field at 2B.

At 30 losses and counting and 11 games under .500, the M's don't have a lot of room left for error... if you still think they have a shot at the division title in the first place.

Seattle Mariners Net Runs for 5-29-2010 (Anaheim 5, Seattle 1, 10 innings)


TeamPlayerNet RunsHitPitchDefBaseEXERAPitOuts
SEAFelix Hernandez -0.3180.000-0.8950.5770.0005.4224
SEARob Johnson -0.757-0.6470.000-0.1100.0000.000
SEAMatt Tuiasosopo -0.648-0.9500.0000.898-0.5960.000
SEAChone Figgins -1.487-0.7860.000-0.8110.1100.000
SEAJose Lopez -0.216-0.0910.000-0.1250.0000.000
SEAJosh Wilson -0.320-1.0840.0000.7640.0000.000
SEAMichael Saunders -0.504-0.7880.0000.2840.0000.000
SEAFranklin Gutierrez 2.5000.1000.0002.2590.1410.000
SEAIchiro Suzuki 1.3080.1660.0000.7860.3560.000
SEAMilton Bradley -1.732-1.7320.0000.0000.0000.000
SEABrandon League 0.4900.0000.3490.1410.0002.304
SEASEA Luckbox1.6821.4210.0000.2610.0000.000
SEADon Wakamatsu-0.3080.000-0.3080.0000.0000.000


TeamPlayerNet RunsHitPitchDefBaseEXERAPitOuts
ANAJered Weaver 1.5840.0001.4480.1360.0002.7621
ANABobby Wilson -0.660-0.0530.000-0.6070.0000.000
ANAKendry Morales 2.8042.8040.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAHowie Kendrick -1.221-0.8300.000-0.157-0.2340.000
ANAMaicer Izturis -0.512-0.5120.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAErick Aybar -1.623-1.1870.000-0.4360.0000.000
ANAMike Ryan -1.307-0.9380.000-0.3690.0000.000
ANATorii Hunter 0.1350.1350.0000.0000.0000.000
ANABobby Abreu 2.6520.7670.0001.7750.1100.000
ANAHideki Matsui -0.610-0.6100.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAFrancisco Rodriguez 1.0050.0000.5760.4290.0002.096
ANABrian Fuentes 0.5380.0000.5380.0000.0000.003
ANAReggie Willits 0.377-0.6700.0001.0470.0000.000
ANAKevin Frandsen -0.141-0.1410.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAANA Luckbox1.5281.5280.0000.0000.0000.000
ANAMike Scoiscia-0.261-0.2610.0000.0000.0000.000
 Angels Stadium3.9780.0000.000-3.9780.0000.000


Injury Player of the Game: Kendry Morales (2.804 hitting NRuns... 2.562 on the walkoff HR)

Mariners Player of the Game: Franklin Gutierrez (2.500 NRuns: 0.100 hitting, 2.259 fielding, 0.141 running)

Tui's bad tag-up for 3B in the 4th: -0.596 NRuns
All other Mariners baserunning: 0.607 NRuns

Chone's fatal E-4 in the 10th: -1.220 NRuns
All other Mariners defense: 5.883 NRuns
Brandon League's contribution in that 10th inning: -0.079 NRuns
League's contribution in the 9th: 0.428 NRuns

Positive Mariners contributions: 3 (Gutierrez, Ichiro and Brandon League)
Negative Mariners contributions: 8 (9 if you include manager Don Wakamatsu)

Mariners luckbox: 1.682 NRuns
Mariners hitting: -5.812 NRuns

Goat: Milton Bradley (-1.732 hitting NRuns)

******

Despite no hitting, despite subpar pitching by Felix Hernandez... the Mariners had this game in the bag thanks to one of the Mariners defense's best efforts this season, and that's saying something with one of MLB's best defenses.

The giveaway: Felix hanging one fastball too many and Bobby Abreu dropping it on the tarp past the CF wall, and a concoction of mistakes in the bottom 10th (The Figgins error and Wak's previous decision to intentionally walk Abreu) that set up the Morales bomb.

Even despite their weak hitting against Jered Weaver, the M's had their share of chances to cash in extra runs. Tui's bad baserunning helped kill one of those chances. Milton Bradley and some untimely strikeouts with RISP helped kill two others early in the game. Felix could have easily finished his start protecting a 3-0 lead instead of 1-0.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Seattle Mariners Net Runs for 4-26-2010 (Kansas City 3, Seattle 1)

TeamPlayerNet RunsHitPitchDefBaseEXERAPitOuts
SEAFelix Hernandez -0.2770.0000.493-0.7700.0004.4621
SEARob Johnson 0.8120.8120.0000.0000.0000.000
SEACasey Kotchman -0.881-1.1600.0000.2790.0000.000
SEAChone Figgins -3.121-1.4470.000-1.6740.0000.000
SEAJose Lopez -1.782-1.8080.0000.0260.0000.000
SEAJack Wilson -0.611-1.2230.0000.6120.0000.000
SEAMilton Bradley 1.716-0.3230.0002.0390.0000.000
SEAFranklin Gutierrez 2.228-0.2160.0002.4440.0000.000
SEAIchiro Suzuki 0.237-0.1510.0000.0000.3880.000
SEAKen Griffey Jr-0.317-0.3170.0000.0000.0000.000
SEASEA Luckbox0.0000.0000.0000.0000.0000.000
SEADon Wakamatsu0.0000.0000.0000.0000.0000.000
SEAMike Sweeney 1.0001.0000.0000.0000.0000.000
SEAMatt Tuiasosopo 0.0000.0000.0000.0000.0000.000
SEASean White-0.6600.000-0.6600.0000.00010.553


TeamPlayerNet RunsHitPitchDefBaseEXERAPitOuts
KCRKyle Davies 0.4510.0000.4510.0000.0004.4218
KCRJason Kendall -1.527-1.4260.000-0.1010.0000.000
KCRBilly Butler 1.3221.0100.0000.3120.0000.000
KCRAlberto Callaspo -1.897-1.1970.000-0.7000.0000.000
KCRAlex Gordon-0.238-0.4010.0000.1630.0000.000
KCRYuniesky Betancourt 0.6520.4540.0000.1980.0000.000
KCRScott Podsednik 2.009-0.0370.0002.0460.0000.000
KCRMitch Maier 2.045-0.5550.0002.6000.0000.000
KCRDavid DeJesus -0.203-0.6610.0000.4580.0000.000
KCRJose Guillen -0.325-0.3250.0000.0000.0000.000
KCRKCR Luckbox1.2981.2980.0000.0000.0000.000
KCRTrey Hillman0.0000.0000.0000.0000.0000.000
KCRBrad Thompson-0.5580.000-0.5580.0000.00019.011
KCRDusty Hughes -0.5450.000-1.1160.5710.00019.012
KCRKyle Farnsworth -0.3940.000-0.3940.0000.0007.025
KCRBruce Chen0.5150.0000.5150.0000.0000.001
 Kauffmann Stadium0.9490.0000.000-0.9490.0000.000


Player of the Game: Franklin Gutierrez (2.228 NRuns: -0.216 hitting, 2.444 fielding)
Great day for center fielders: Mitch Maier (2.045 NRuns: -0.555 hitting, 2.600 fielding)

Bad day for 2nd basemen....

Chone Figgins (-3.121 NRuns: -1.447 hitting, -1.674 fielding... also our GOAT)
Alberto Callaspo (-1.897 NRuns: -1.197 hitting, -0.700 fielding)

Welcome back, Milton Bradley (1.716 NRuns: -0.323 hitting, 2.039 fielding)
... oh... it's you: Jack Wilson (-0.611 NRuns: -1.223 hitting, 0.612 fielding)

We also kind of gave the game away: KCR Luckbox (1.298 NRuns)
SEA hitting: -4.833 NRuns

******

And that's the Mariners' performance in a nutshell. One run in garbage time, knocked in by former Royal and current bench-hog Mike Sweeney, and nothing against the hittable Kyle Davies, who had pretty much an identically ordinary night to Felix Hernandez... only Hernandez watched a ball leave the yard and made a defensive miscue to help bring in another run. And that was pretty much the difference, as neither lineup had much else to offer.

Chone Figgins had a bad game defensively, letting several key balls get by him, but this is hardly just his fault. Aside from Sweendawg, only Rob Johnson of all people had an overall positive contribution at the plate today. This team doesn't need hitters so much as they just need to HIT.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Storytime With Erik Bedard (featuring a guest storyteller)


Who are you?
Where is Erik?
Erik isn't here today. He has a tight hamstring.
What does ham have to do with it?

Does he have food poisoning?
Uh... no
What am I supposed to do again?
Stories!
You're supposed to tell the children a story.
Ah okay I can do that.

Right.
Tell us a story!
Okay okay
There was once an emperor who spent all his money on nice clothes.
He always wanted to be the best dressed so that's what he bought
These guys came to town offering to make the emperor new clothes
They said their fabric was invisible, and the emperor believed them
They were actually swindlers.
What's a swindler?
He's a liar.
Swindlers try to sell people used cars.
yeah, you could say that.
That's part of the problem with capitalism.
Uh
Once you allow man to conduct business free of regulation-
SHUT UP AND LET HIM CONTINUE THE STORY
Uh yeah... so, uh, the emperor totally bought it and wore it
And
Uh
Yeah? And?
the Aristocrats!

The end!


You have got to be shi-
That is the worst ending I have ever heard.
I could do your job better.
It was a good story and you ruined it!
Uh, sorry. I tell you another.
This one better be better!
So there was this old couple out in the woods and they had no kids.
Why not?
I guess they were infertile.

So they wanted a kid.
The grandma made a gingerbread cookie in the shape of a kid
And magically, when it was done, a little gingerbread man jumped out!
Wow!
And he rolled up to a house about seven or eight
And he yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homie smell you later!"
Looked at his kingdom, he was finally there.
And he could sit on his throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
The end!

You did it again, stupid!
Uh
You have another good story and you blew it AGAIN
In Quebec they would gun you down like Dino Bravo for this.
Uhhh
We want Erik back!
He's weird but he doesn't tell stories with stupid endings!
I'm starting to get the shakes. I need to go.
I'll give you le shakes, white boy